For eternity…

For my Ice Queen,
When shivering cold takes hold of your body
For my Hot Thing,
When heat chases away that cold

I feel you close to me,
While your breath touches my skin
I feel you touching me,
While my love is set for eternity…

Version 3

Hurting

Why do we hurt the ones we love most?
Words of apologies should flood the gates,
Yet I have nothing to say…

Feelings of embarrassment, for sure…
Walking in a void, lost
Abandoned myself, forlorn…

Feelings of sadness, mostly that…
Oh yes, it is my own doing
Trapped in myself, lonely…

How do we find trust again?
When suspicion is ever present…
How do I come back to sanity?
While I drown in gloomy emotions…

Only with you, my dear…
Only together…
Only us…

Dreaming – Sound asleep

Technology advances,
Speed, faster, go go go
No stopping us anymore

Analogue
Signals, under pressure
Transmission in the air
Coming closer,
Remember those times
Radio waves hitting the living room
Voices and laughter,
Everywhere we listen,
Magic is surrounding us,
Emotions with people in tears

Automation
Deciding now, more pressure
Self harming flow,
Humanity under control
No control, lost control…
Standard view on movement
Situations being absorbed
Adapting to the now, future
Ignoring the then
So long, creature of faith

Robots in our sight,
March of the machines
Ignoring our needs and feeding our greed
Oh, where do we go
Loosing our sense of purpose,
Is there any purpose?
So long, you miserable beast
Keep moving away,
Understanding those changes, you need…
Reflecting on those waves of the past

Hearts are drawn closer
We lost our desire
We missed our choice
We ignored the signals
Hearts became cold
Greed took it all
Leaving us behind with…
Do we still have sense of purpose?
Do we still have any values?

There is…

There is no doubt
Never was and never will be

There is some fear
The path to take is never certain

There is no hesitation
The feelings are true and clear

There might be confusion
Some things will clear in time

There is no distrust
Soulmates for life, right

There is pain
Yes, it hurts both ways

There is love
Unconditioned and more

There is friendship
Honest and pure

There is us
United and more…

**>><<**

Decisions

Expect the unexpected… so they say… I guess it means be ready for change. Be ready for things to happen and not necessarily for the good. Do we really have to? Is life so easily disrupted if you do not expect the unexpected? Even when you have that mindset of expecting the unexpected, unexpected things do happen and will happen. You never really can plan it, right?

There are moments that those unexpected things have a huge impact on what comes next in your life. You seek for something different, seek answers to questions you have and without realising you stepped into a roller coaster going high speed along a track to end where you never thought you would be. Nothing is the same. Everything is different… or so it seems…

We all make mistakes. We all do things planned or unplanned that seem right at the time, but end up being wrong. We atone for our mistakes. We say sorry if those mistakes affect people you care. No matter what you do, no matter how much you think about it, you will have to make decisions and those decisions affect people not just in a good way. Decisions can hurt people. They can hurt people you care about, you love. They can hurt people you hold dear, you like no matter how long you actually know them.

The road is never straight. Even when the design is straight, traveling on the road is never on a straight line. It swirls, it bends, it cries, it climbs, it descends… Each step forward makes you leave behind something and at the same time it gathers more experience to take with you. Sometimes it is hard to leave something behind. Sometimes it is easy. Sometimes you loose something on the way and wish you didn’t. Sometimes you gain something or pick something up. That something is sometimes good and sometimes a burden.

Everything that happens when traveling the road has a purpose. We know that if we want to know it. We accept it more easily when it is good things happening to us. We have it more difficult to accept when things happen that are hard. Everything is an experience we learn from, or better said should learn from. We have the power to make the decisions in our lives if we want to. Every decision you take is yours to take and yours to carry with you. They are part of making you who you are as a person.

I am making decisions right now. Some of them scare me. Some of them give me a feeling of relieve, that finally I made them. Some decisions make me sad. Every decision though, is my responsibility and only I am accountable for them. No matter the impact on others, I carry the responsibility with me down on the road of the next chapter of my life. The next 1 to 2 years will be hard but with the love I receive I trust that all will be good. I trust in us. Thank you for your trust.

Last Nights Experience…

Transmit that a poem or a song
Let me hear that voice once again
Touching my heart in a moment of hope,
Penetrating my soul with sentiment, just now
Yes, I am scared, ooh yes
I tremble at the thought of walking alone

And we move on to the next…

My experience is troubled
With all the emotions running loose
Can I find some peace now
Some hope, presented in a touch
Yes, I am afraid, ooh yes
I tremble at the thought of feeling alone

And we move on to the next…

I walked out into the soaking rain
Experiences exchanged, surreal, real
How much time do I have to absorb this moment?
To process this flood of emotions
Yes, I feel humbled, ooh yes
I look into the lights and know that the future is bright

And we move on to the next… song

Risk

Casting a stone into a lake changes the shape of the water. The ripple it creates moves away from you until it disappears and becomes one again with its source. It existed for a brief moment to vanish into the big mass. So we do it again. We cast a little stone into the water to see the effect of the ripple moving away. Somehow it gives comfort having the illusion that you control the behaviour of the water by casting a stone into it.

Thoughts are directed to the future with a feeling of uncertainty. Will we be safe no matter where we live on this planet? Will our hearts be filled with joy in the future. I guess every generation has its doubts. Doubts indicate that nothing is set in stone and that we do have some influence on our lives. Nothing is certain, everything is possible… Risks are taken every day.

Starting a project, starting a business, starting a relation,… everything caries a risk. As long as you believe in it and have passion for it… whatever the “it” is… in the end it is all worth it. Doing things you believe in are always worth doing, no matter what the results are. It shapes you as a person and lets you be the person you are. I believe in my project, I believe in myself and I believe in my life. I trust in myself and the people that care for me and that gives me comfort to take some risks…

Memories

Looking out the window
A vast space in front of me
Thinking back when pain was felt
And fear was ever present
Remembering times of loneliness

Crawling into my soul
A dark place to be, not free
Reflecting on that night, a long time ago
Being in dismay and pain
Waking up in a foreign place

Staring into a void
A distance, far away
Meditating, searching for some peace
An effort to make sense of it all
Accepting, at least trying… for now

Glancing at a beam of light
A glimpse of hope
Listening to your voice
Leading me down the path,
To find purpose and strength

Clouds

So long, my dear
For the time is near,
Where we live in fear
And see loved ones march
To disappear

Good Bye, peace
Is it too late?
Or just not yet,
That hope still is embraced
To find some happiness

Warmongers create fear
And divide to conquer
Call names to provoke
Send armies to destroy and plunder
Until there is nothing left

Hello, my dear
I hold you near
and I have no fear
For our love is strong
And ever so real

I embrace, our love
Finding warmth and care
In this cold hard world
You and me and us
Together, in the hope it all will be better

Oh, so afraid…
Mushroom clouds are not welcome
Not here nor in my nightmares
Friendship and love are found
When people talk and listen

Understand cultural differences
Embrace our diversity
And learn from one another
To embrace a prosperous life
As equals under the same skye

Not damaged by clouds

Listening!

Your mind wonders away into a void where only you seem to understand what is going on. You sit on a chair, look out the window while absorbing impressions. Autumn leaves are passing by. They travel distances unknown. The blue sky is covered by clouds that resemble objects and figures. Fantasy plays with you. Only lack of imagination will spoil the experience of an adventure you see being played before you.

Then it comes. It smacks you in the face. You run into a concrete wall with high speed. Hard reality knocks you back on your feet, back to earth, back to the now and what is deemed as so important. All that dreaming and wondering around in a fantasy, is not what you should waste your time on. You cannot just waste your time looking out a window and do nothing. This seriously is very unproductive behaviour…

So here we are… We are defined with what we do for a living. It sits in our culture that we define somebody with what that person is doing as an occupation, as work. One of the first questions you get asked, when talking for the first time to somebody is; “What do you do?” as in “What is your occupation?”. You answer most likely with a similar phrase as this one; ”I am a student”; “I am a lawyer”; “I am an engineer”. Your answer allows to set a picture that the questioner can relate to and the tone of exchange and conversation is as such set. Having no occupation, saying you are un-employed, or that you do nothing is received with silence or a frowning face… Euphemisms are used to mask that you are by definition inactive in the rat race by using the phrase “I am in between jobs”; “I am looking for new opportunities and challenges”; and others…

No matter how you look at it, we answer with the intend to inform about our main activity, with the knowledge (and in some cases hope) that it will give you a level of status. It is that status we deem important. Being unemployed is not something you want to communicate. Main reason, it puts you in the bottom section of the status ladder. We communicate our profession as who we are and preferably we infuse the title we use with some more fancy wording in the hope we are put higher up the status ladder. It is all about the first impression we make. The same goes for the set of clothes you are wearing. We judge every person all the time. My argument is that we discriminate people in forming an opinion about somebody when we box them in their profession and occupation to define who they are. We form an opinion of someone before we even known the person.

Next time you meet somebody new and you start a conversation, try very hard to not ask anything about that person. Try and have a conversation about some topic that fits the occasion and avoid getting trapped in forming an opinion about the person by just looking t their clothes or shoes, before you actually had a meaningful conversation. My experience is that the less you know about somebody, the more you might be inclined to listen to what that person has to say without being prejudiced. Especially in those cases, where you would have boxed people into their boxes, where the box makes you to form a more sceptical or negative opinion about them. Avoiding this, stops you from defining up front an opinion about the person and might give you a chance to enrich experiences by hearing what others have to say more objectively. Try it… It is worth doing it!